I will never make full conclusions about this 4 month experience, but if there is one thing I always end up concluding about every event, phase, and season of life, it is the same conclusion the wise King Solomon made: Everything is meaningless. I try to do good things for myself or someone else or this theoretical thing we call "the world" but it's always just a chase after the wind. Often our good intentions bring more harm than good. We only hope and pray our efforts bring more good, but in many cases it's kind of fleeting and hopeless. Everything is out of our own control, and there's not much we can do to tame it, yet we continue to do to the best of our abilities what has been allotted to us (9:10), and often that means simply valuing a human relationship, because that is all that has been given to us (9:9). So I don't know what's going to happen next, and maybe I shouldn't really care. Maybe I should just let seasons change and see what falls into my lap. The more I use force to bend and shape the future, the more I will be crushed by let-down. Winter is the season of death, and while I had been trying to escape it, my return was inevitable.